New Family Activity
Saturday 31st July
Garden Party
Stainglass window
.
Weaving
My life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colours
He knows what they should be.
Sometimes He weaveth sorrow,
and I in foolish pride
forget that He seeth the upper,
and I the under side
It is He who fills the shuttle,
He knows just what is best;
So I shall weave in earnest
and leave him with the rest.
Not till the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly,
shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why.
Contribution from Solihull Hospital Chaplaincy, via Harold Morris
Cars
If you must speed on the motorway, sing these hymns loudly:
1 At 45mph "God will take care of me"
2 At 55mph "Guide me, O thou great Jehovah"
3 At 65mph "Nearer my God to thee"
4 At 75mph "Nearer still nearer"
5. At 85mph "This world is not my home"
6. At 95mph "Lord, I'm coming home"
7. At 100mph "Precious Memories"
From a barrel of Fun J.John and Mark Stibbe, Monarch Books
Communication Problems
The Lord Giveth
When the Lord gave out Brains, I thought he said Trains and I missed mine.
When the Lord gave out Looks, I thought he said Books and I didn't want any
When the Lord gave out Noses, I thought he said Roses and I asked for a big red one.
When the Lord gave out Chins, I thought he said Gins and I ordered a double
When the Lord gave out heads, I thought he said Beds and I requested a big soft one.
What a mess I'm in!!!!
(As seen in a consulting room at the Q.E. by Gloria Bourbage)
Entering Heaven
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates,
"In honour of this Holy Season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven"
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. he flicked it on . "It represents a candle", he said
"You may pass through the pearly gates, " Saint peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. he shook them and said "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates"
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses. Saint Peter looked at the man with raised eyebrow and asked "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's"
Lots wife
The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt, when Jason interrupted, "My mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"